Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee (Exodus 20:12).
The first four commands of the decalogue are commands related to our dealings with God. And right after these, the first command that continues the rest of the commands, related to our human relationship is our relationship with parents. This is significant in that it tells the place of parents in our human relationships.
Humanly speaking, we owe our lives to our parents and they deserve a place of honour. To dishonour earthly parents will be akin to dishonouring the LORD for he is our spiritual Parent. In the Lord’s prayer, honour for God as Father is implied: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name” (Matthew 6:9).
What then does honouring our parents mean? Firstly, the command signifies respect for parents (Leviticus 19:3). Respect demands obedience to parents; listening and giving heed to their instructions (Proverbs 23:22). It can be safely argued that by virtue of age and experience, parents may be wiser than their children and thus able to give wise counsel. In disobeying parents, we may be setting ourselves up for trouble. Indeed the command to obey parents was so integral to the life of the Israelites that a “code of punishment” was instituted for disobedient children. (Deut. 21:18-21).
The Scripture calls disobedience to parents as evil (Deut. 21:21c). The question that will naturally arise is that “must we obey Parents in all circumstances?” No. If their disobedience will cause us to disobey God or break the laws of the land; obedience to God is paramount, which is implied obedience to the land laws.
In honouring our parents, we are also to appreciate them. We have only one set of parents through whom God brought us into this world. To dishonour them is to be unappreciative of their role in our lives. Again, there may be those who may have had bad experiences with their parents. For these people, reconciliation and forgiveness are required as Christians. There is no justification for animosity towards parents for whatever experience you may have encountered. You must learn to forgive and reconcile.
In the Akan language, a proverb goes that “Aberewa hwe abofra ma ofifir se nna abofra so hwe aberewa ma nese tutu.” This translates in English to mean “The old woman looks after the child to grow its teeth and the young one in turn looks after the old woman when she loses her teeth.
This proverb addresses the fact that children are to take charge of caring for their elderly parents. It is a godly responsibility we must not shirk.
Though this commandment addresses honour for parents, it has a wider application for respect of authority. As parents are authority figures, we are to extend parental honour to those who have any form of authority over us. It is also a commandment that has application in our relationship with the elderly, whether they are our parents or not. Pauls’s words to Timothy are instructive here.
Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity (1 Timothy 5:1-2)
Notes
- https://afriprov.org/november-2003-proverb-qthe-old-woman-looks-after-the-child-to-grow-its-teeth-and-the-young-one-in-turn-looks-after-the-old-woman-when-she-loses-her-teethq-akan-ghana-ivory-coast/
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